Joys and Sorrows

The joy of being a mother is so very closely linked with the sorrow of being a mother. It is holy ground. ~ Staci Eldredge’s “You Are Captivating – Celebrating a Mother’s Heart”

I think every mom can attest to the fact that being a mother is both joyful and sorrowful. We have moments, days, and seasons that we experience either or both of these emotions. There may be some days, some seasons in which we are especially feeling joyful and other days and seasons in which it seems all we have are sorrow.

The joy of being a mom is found in sometimes those small moments, a baby who finally falls asleep, a child’s grade going up, or the accomplishment of playing an instrument. Other joys are found in more monumental events such as graduating or winning some grand award. Mixed in you may encounter other moments that bring true joy to your heart.

I mentioned recently how I had celebrated my 40th birthday. I have two sons and one daughter. My daughter was the only one really interested in buying me a gift. She had an upcoming babysitting job, so she asked my husband to take her to pick out a gift for me and she would pay him back. The boys…well, if I had not reminded them that morning it was my birthday, it would have come and gone without any acknowledgment. My daughter, on the other hand, wanted to make it special. She picked out a beautiful candle display and even hid it, having me go through a treasure hunt before I was led to her very thoughtful gift and card. That brought me joy.

I used to always bemoan the fact that my boys didn’t seem to really care if it was my birthday. My youngest will make a card for me. However, my 14 year old son, he needed a little help. So instead of expecting him to think of something to do for my birthday and instead of feeling sorry for myself that he isn’t more thoughtful, I handed him a pack of construction paper and some pencils and said, “Make me a card.” He said, “What do I write?” I said, “Write what’s in your heart.” I was expecting his card to say “Happy Birthday Mom, Love Daniel.” Instead, this is what it said: “I love you and thank you for being there for me. Your support has helped me to get through my life. Without your help I would be nowhere. Life has been fun because of you mom.” Wow! That really hit me to the core of my heart. I had no idea those feelings were inside him. Truly, this brought me great joy (and some tears).

I wish that motherhood was always filled with these moments. Unfortunately, though, it is also filled with very sorrowful moments. I think probably the greatest sorrow a mom can experience is when their child does something very wrong, when they stray from the Lord, when they make decisions that are very hurtful or tragic. Some sorrows are unexpected, an illness of a child. But other sorrows are brought on by that child and it cuts us to the very core.

Recently my husband and I have been having “issues” with our youngest. They have caused me sorrow. They have caused me to feel hurt inside. Yes, being a mom can truly be sorrowful. Think of the times that your child has brought you to tears. Think of the times that your child has broken your heart. Think of the times your child has disappointed you. Think of the times your child has gone the wrong way. These are all painful mom moments. My blog, “Mom Moments” is just about that…moments we experience as moms. I would like to say that everything we will ever experience will be great but it’s not true. Being a mom is hard and sometimes we wonder where the joy in it really is.

This blog was based upon something I read in Staci Eldgredge’s book, “You Are Captivating – Celebrating a Mother’s Heart.” I quoted it above. However, I cannot fail to address the second part of what I quoted, where she says “It is holy ground.” That caught me a bit off guard. Being a mom is joyful and sorrowful, yes, but how in the world is it holy ground?

I had to really think about that. The ground we walk as a mother really is holy. We experience so many divine moments, that it can’t be anything other than holy ground. When we stand on holy ground, which is before God, we stand before Him not only with the good but with the bad. We are who we are. Being a mother is what it is. Our children are what they are. Every moment in life that we experience comes back to holiness because it’s all about Him. If we forget God in the midst of those joys and sorrows, we have forgotten the divine purpose and glory of being a mom.

Being a mom is not just something we do; it truly is who we are. We are so often defined by the mother that we are. We are defined by the way we respond to situations in our children’s lives. We are defined by the way we respond to those joys and sorrows.

You may be on the mountaintop right now as a mom. Everything is good. You got your little ducks in a row, all is well. It could be easy to look down upon others, to cluck your tongue and think, “What has she done wrong?” Believe me…we will all experience painful moments. No one is exempt from the sorrows of being a mom. If you are in a joyful place, yes, be thankful but at the same time, remember those moms who are not.

If you are in a time of sorrow—if being a mom is simply breaking your heart, look up! Look up to the very One who grieves right along with you. He will not leave you, He will not forsake you. He loves that child more than you do. He wants better for that child. He sees the bigger picture while all we see are the fragments of a broken life or situation. Your child needs to be entrusted into the hands of the very One who created him/her. Know that as a mom, I am praying for each one of you and your children—that they would experience the awesome glory of walking in the path that God has laid out before them. If they are not, that they would return, that they would finally make that commitment to live their lives solely to the Lord Jesus Christ.