Saturday, July 4, 2009

Deeper Love

The deeper your love, the higher it goes…Psalm 57:10 (The Message)

Sometimes a scripture verse will hit me a certain way. Its meaning could be one thing but oftentimes you will find that a verse can be applied in other ways.

I got a new Bible last Christmas which I love. It’s a parallel Bible, one side has the New American Standard version and the other side has The Message. I love the way verses in The Message speak so clearly.

Now in our bathroom we have this flip book with Bible verses for each day. Last Sunday the scripture verse was the one above. Then Monday morning I opened my Bible to continue my reading in Psalms and guess what? Psalm 57 was the very next chapter I was on. I read that verse again and suddenly, I knew God was trying to tell me something.

Last week was a bit rough for me. Life has just really been ramming its ugly head against me and I definitely feel like I am in a battle. I am in a battle for my emotions, my thoughts, and my relationships with others. It is usually very hard to avoid struggles in relationships when you are warring against other things in life.

I thought about the fact that in my marriage we have gone through many, many times of testing—just as I am sure all you married ladies have gone through. The difference this time is not that we are being tested in our marriage but I think we are in a proving ground. I think we are beginning to see what we are really made of. Our marriage has passed many, many tests…from the early days of our marriage when we were unsaved to the journey that we have gone through for the almost 18 years of our marriage.

The proving ground is a deeper facing of what our marriage is really all about. It has not been easy. At times I have felt the work of it all—everything going on—has just been too much. Maybe it’s just my personality but when things are really tough, I would prefer to slink away and be alone. I would prefer to be left alone, to not be bothered by anyone. I don’t want to talk about my feelings, about what is going on…I just want to be by myself.

Loving someone is not a feeling, not an emotion. It is a choice. At times, when things are difficult, you may feel that loving is a choice you don’t want to make or you may feel you don’t have it in you to do. Frustrations, irritations, miscommunication, all of these things can create blockages in relationships.

So through all of this, I have learned that I need to make the choice to love. It has not just been in my marriage, as we have been going through this period of what I call our proving ground…it has been with others. Because like I said, I would prefer to be left alone. I would not choose to also be taking care of five children in the midst of this. So I must make the choice to love. But here is where the above scripture verse comes in. The deeper I choose to love…the higher it goes. To me, that means the more love I give, the more selfless I am, the more I give up to meet the needs of another—the closer I get to God. The higher up is Him. It is connecting to Him in a deeper, closer way because I have chosen to love others.

Dear, children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. I John 3:18

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. I John 4:7

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