Yesterday my husband and I met a man from church, who will be heading up a missions trip to Haiti in just a couple of weeks, at our bank. We had to have a couple of forms notarized. One was an authorization form for our minor child to leave the country on this trip and the other was to sign over temporary guardianship to the team leader.
It felt strange to sign over temporary guardianship of my child. What it says is that for this particular period of time, I am relinquishing my rights over my child to someone else. The responsibility of his life for those six days will rest with someone else.
Mothers have a very strong attachment to their children. There is almost a sense of ownership. But the reality is that no matter who has “guardianship” over my child, he does not belong to me. He belongs to God.
As I was reflecting on these things, God reminded me of something else…my life is not my own.
…You are not your own; you were bought at a price… (I Corinthians 6:19b-20a)
How many times at church do I sing songs of surrender? “Lord, I surrender all…I surrender all…all to you my precious Savior, I surrender all.” Yet the truth is I am still holding onto things.
True surrender is a recognition that we are not our own. There was a price paid for our salvation, our new life in Christ. It was a heavy, blood-bought price. How could I expect such a price to be paid for me, yet still attempt to direct my own life?
I came to understand that for me personally, what God was trying to say is that there are some things I am still holding onto…as if I “own” them. At the top of that list are my children.
But for all of us, we have some area in our life (maybe more) that we grasp onto, too afraid to let go. We let fear and doubt prevent us from truly surrendering.
What if things don’t go the way we expected? What if something bad happens? What if it backfires? What if it doesn’t work out? We go into the idea of surrender with only “What if” thoughts. That isn’t true surrender.
The past couple of weeks this has been a real battle for me, as I saw my daughter off to her first year of high school…as the decision was made in our home about allowing our son to take this missions trip to Haiti.
I feel like my children are just growing up too fast and I want to press the pause button. But the reality is that it’s because I don’t want to relinquish them. Yet that is exactly what God is asking of us. He wants us to release EVERYTHING in our life because our life is not our own.
He paid a price for your life and soul that can never be measured. We really can’t even wrap our minds around the reality of this. It’s too divine…it’s too unbelievable.
So with that, I leave you with the lyrics to one of my favorite songs, “Unthinkable”:
That God would give His Son for me
I find it hard to believe
That a gift so great could ever be repaid
But the blood that’s flowing from His veins
Has washed away my guilty stains
Death was lost and life was gained for me
It’s unthinkable
But I still believe
It’s unthinkable
But I still believe
I’ve found forgiveness for a life of sin
You bring me healing in my brokenness
You give me purpose for a life unlived
It’s all in your blood, it’s all in your blood
Photo by mmagallan in stock.xchng
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