Recently my 6th grade daughter and I were having a conversation about one of her friends from school. It was kind of a sad story, how her friend was trying to wake her dad up, so he could take her to school. It was something like 7:30 and school starts at 7:45 am. His response was to wake him up in 5 minutes but she kept trying to tell him that school starts in 15 minutes. He finally snapped at her, “Then take the city bus!” It was a good opportunity to share with my daughter that not every family is a healthy one. I also used it as an opportunity to help her appreciate her own father. She is just entering into those sometimes volatile years as a young teen and recently things have been tense between her and dad. Their relationship is changing and I think they are both just trying to figure it all out and find their footing in it.
As I spent some time trying to point out all of his good qualities—because unfortunately at times she only sees the things she doesn’t like, I began to feel a little convicted. Here I was preaching to her about the way she should appreciate her father but I had this nagging question in my heart, “Am I doing the same?” “Am I appreciating my husband and showing that example to my daughter?”
You know, it’s behind closed doors, when the world isn’t watching, that we allow our true selves to be seen. Unfortunately, at times I can be quick to point out a fault in my husband, or even roll my eyes when he says something I think is stupid. No, it’s not nice but I’m just being truthful. I think we all have our moments where we would like to keep it all behind closed doors. We wouldn’t want the world to see some of behavior, hear some of our responses or even worse, know our thoughts. But much of this is right out there for our children to see. How we treat our husbands speaks greatly to our children. It could even possibly affect the way they treat their father.
Perhaps you have seen a sitcom or some type of show where the wife “wears the pants,” so to speak. Or she may treat her husband like dirt. Most of the time the children of that family treat him the same way. They have no respect for him because it has not been modeled. If I say to my child, “Don’t speak that way to your father,” I need to consider if I have led them by example.
I think we all need to show more appreciation for our husbands. The more we value them, the more our children will do the same. If you are tearing your boss down at work, pretty soon your co-workers will join in. The same is true in a family. We must be encouraging, supporting and lifting one another up. We need to remember that we are serving as an example before our children. I think it’s time I call my husband up and tell him how much I love and appreciate him…
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
You Are Being Watched!
My prayer has always been that Mom Moments would be a place that mothers may be able to hear from God. I desire to be His mouthpiece, in whatever way He sees fit. Sometimes it takes the story or experience of another person, sometimes it comes through a teaching, or a thought to be shared. It has also been through my personal experiences that God has been able to speak to others, just as others speak into my life through their personal experiences.
Hopefully this Mom Moments testimony will be yet another encouragement to you that God is good and He is in control and sometimes we go through things and they may not make sense but in the end He can always, always, always be trusted.
I feel so blessed to be able to say that God has answered our prayers and we received a report back from the doctor that my daughter had a benign cyst. The thought crossed my mind, why did we ever have to go through this? If in the end—and believe me, I am NOT complaining—all was going to be well, what purpose did the “scare,” the possibility of cancer serve? You may need to reread my last blog for part of the answer but I think there are other possibilities that need to be considered.
One of the things about the world around us, especially those who do not know the Lord, is that they are watching us. You may find yourself being more closely watched by some more than others. There are people who are intently watching your life because they either want to see you trip up—in other words, they are looking for a way to see you fall—or they want to see if what you believe is for real—in other words, they are looking for some hope and want to know if what you have is really worth anything.
I had co-workers, all unbelievers, who I believe were watching me during this. Some were just casual observers but there are others who were more focused. Those who were more focused had genuine interest in my daughter’s situation and I am sure felt curious about how well I handled the entire thing. However, I would guess that I had at least one co-worker who was not looking for the good in the situation. Unfortunately, I do have a co-worker who seems intent on seeing me mess up. I don’t even want to guess what her reasons are—I am learning to not care enough, to just let it go and go about my business. But a part of me wonders, did God want to show her I was genuine? That I am the real stuff? That I don’t just talk the talk of faith, but I live it? It could very well be. I can’t say that I know for sure. But I do understand that we have a watching world and the way we respond, the way we handle a situation, the way we carry ourselves…all of this is being watched by a bigger audience, one that goes even beyond our children.
My daughter’s 6th grade teacher has some religious beliefs, as he is a practicing Catholic. I look forward to when spring break is over and sharing with him the good news. I look forward to sharing with him how I believe God answered our prayers. He was yet another observer in our lives.
Think about all the people that surround you and are watching you. Are you complaining about situations in your life? Are you worried and anxious? Are those who are waiting to see you trip up being given the evil satisfaction of knowing they were somehow right? Are those who are looking for hope able to look at your life and say, “I want what she’s got!” We may need to consider our words, our responses, and our behavior more closely as we think about the situations in our lives and what the world around us is seeing. We have children watching but we also have others watching. May they see the hope of glory in you—the Lord Jesus Christ!
Hopefully this Mom Moments testimony will be yet another encouragement to you that God is good and He is in control and sometimes we go through things and they may not make sense but in the end He can always, always, always be trusted.
I feel so blessed to be able to say that God has answered our prayers and we received a report back from the doctor that my daughter had a benign cyst. The thought crossed my mind, why did we ever have to go through this? If in the end—and believe me, I am NOT complaining—all was going to be well, what purpose did the “scare,” the possibility of cancer serve? You may need to reread my last blog for part of the answer but I think there are other possibilities that need to be considered.
One of the things about the world around us, especially those who do not know the Lord, is that they are watching us. You may find yourself being more closely watched by some more than others. There are people who are intently watching your life because they either want to see you trip up—in other words, they are looking for a way to see you fall—or they want to see if what you believe is for real—in other words, they are looking for some hope and want to know if what you have is really worth anything.
I had co-workers, all unbelievers, who I believe were watching me during this. Some were just casual observers but there are others who were more focused. Those who were more focused had genuine interest in my daughter’s situation and I am sure felt curious about how well I handled the entire thing. However, I would guess that I had at least one co-worker who was not looking for the good in the situation. Unfortunately, I do have a co-worker who seems intent on seeing me mess up. I don’t even want to guess what her reasons are—I am learning to not care enough, to just let it go and go about my business. But a part of me wonders, did God want to show her I was genuine? That I am the real stuff? That I don’t just talk the talk of faith, but I live it? It could very well be. I can’t say that I know for sure. But I do understand that we have a watching world and the way we respond, the way we handle a situation, the way we carry ourselves…all of this is being watched by a bigger audience, one that goes even beyond our children.
My daughter’s 6th grade teacher has some religious beliefs, as he is a practicing Catholic. I look forward to when spring break is over and sharing with him the good news. I look forward to sharing with him how I believe God answered our prayers. He was yet another observer in our lives.
Think about all the people that surround you and are watching you. Are you complaining about situations in your life? Are you worried and anxious? Are those who are waiting to see you trip up being given the evil satisfaction of knowing they were somehow right? Are those who are looking for hope able to look at your life and say, “I want what she’s got!” We may need to consider our words, our responses, and our behavior more closely as we think about the situations in our lives and what the world around us is seeing. We have children watching but we also have others watching. May they see the hope of glory in you—the Lord Jesus Christ!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
By Your Side
I ended my last blog with the news that my daughter was going to need a biopsy. Back in February all of this came about when my children went to a routine dental visit. My biggest concern was that they not have cavities. By the time the dentist was done talking to my husband and I, I almost wished they had had cavities! In a nutshell all three children would need to see a specialist for one reason or another. Our greatest concern, however, was for our 11 year old daughter, Caitlin. We were told that a root on one of her baby teeth had just completely disappeared and roots just don’t disappear. Suddenly we were hearing the words biopsy, tumor, possibly malignant but most likely benign and I honestly felt like my head was spinning. I think the grace of God was immediately dispensed in that moment because when we came back into the waiting room where our three children were, I was able to hold myself together.
I did all my crying on the inside. My stomach felt weak, my chest was tight and I couldn’t believe that a routine dental visit could turn into such a nightmare. However, it didn’t take long before God’s peace began to settle into me. So to make a long story short, my daughter had her biopsy done this past Tuesday. The source of what “ate up” her roots was taken out and according to the oral surgeon, it looked “pretty benign.” We will not have final results for another 3 to 5 days. I can say that for 98% of the time, I have felt nothing but peace and trust. This is not based on anything other than my faith in God. The doctor’s pre-diagnosis of it looking “pretty benign” is nice but it doesn’t dictate what I believe. I believe the report of the Lord and that is what I stand on!
I would like to say that in every circumstance in my life, I have handled things this way—I have not. I take no credit for the way I am handling this. I give all the glory to God. In fact, I have begun to think that God has some greater purposes in all of this that have absolutely nothing to do with me. So often when difficult circumstances come into our lives, our first thought is about ME. How it is going to affect ME. How I feel. What am I going to do? What about ME? Even with our children, they can be going through something and somehow we still make it about us!
Our children are like extensions of ourselves, so often we internalize things so deeply. We make their problems our problems, their difficulties our own. But there are times in their lives when we need to just step back and let God do the work. They have their own salvation to work out and we have to be careful that we are not stepping on God’s toes.
In the beginning my husband and I made the decision to not tell our daughter about the reason she was seeing an oral surgeon. We simply said that they needed to take a look at one of her teeth. We didn’t want to needlessly worry her. I felt good about the decision we had made. On Tuesday when she went in to have the procedure done, well, let’s just say she put up a good fight before it was finally able to be done. What could have been a 5 minute procedure took nearly an hour! When it was done and over with, and she was still carrying on about the trauma of what had been done to her, I felt in my spirit that she needed to know. She needed to understand there was a genuine reason for having this procedure done. I then proceeded, on our way home from the procedure, to tell her exactly what was going on. Her response was wonderful. She seemed okay with it. She became more understanding about the need to have it done. I thought, “This is great, she is handling this so well!”
Well the next day things changed. She suddenly came to me crying. She was sobbing and saying, “I don’t want to have cancer.” Immediately regret filled my heart. “I shouldn’t have told her,” I said to myself. But God spoke into my heart that it was the right thing to do and I had to let Him work. Have you ever felt that? That you had to let God do a work even though you wanted to intervene? So often we try to intervene in God’s plans, stop a situation, solve a problem, or create another way when God has His own plan. It is hard to step out of the way. But that is exactly what He was asking me to do. Is there something in your life that God is telling you to step aside? Let Him do the work?
When my daughter couldn’t stop crying, I called up my best friend. Her daughter and mine are best friends. I knew that her daughter truly cares about Caitlin and would be there for her. I explained to my best friend what was going on and asked if she could have her daughter call mine. A few minutes later she did. When my daughter hung up the phone, she had stopped crying. She came to me and told me how Hayley (that’s her best friend) had reminded Caitlin (my daughter) of all the times God had healed her when she was younger (she has been through a lot in her life) and that God wasn’t going to let her have cancer. She then prayed with my daughter. Later that night at church I talked to my best friend about their conversation and she felt that this situation could be used in her daughter’s life as well. She was being used as an encourager but also for her to see evidence of God working.
Here we are, just a few days later, still waiting for final results and I can see the Lord still working. Suddenly a song has become the source of strength for my daughter. This is the first time I have seen her held onto a promise in such a way. There are many songs that really impact me and give me hope. Now God has given her a song. It’s by Tenth Avenue North and it’s called “By Your Side.” I end with the lyrics…may they be an encouragement to you:
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don’t turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I’m not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
Chorus:
And I’ll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and My side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world’s sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
Chorus – 2x
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I’ll never let you go
I did all my crying on the inside. My stomach felt weak, my chest was tight and I couldn’t believe that a routine dental visit could turn into such a nightmare. However, it didn’t take long before God’s peace began to settle into me. So to make a long story short, my daughter had her biopsy done this past Tuesday. The source of what “ate up” her roots was taken out and according to the oral surgeon, it looked “pretty benign.” We will not have final results for another 3 to 5 days. I can say that for 98% of the time, I have felt nothing but peace and trust. This is not based on anything other than my faith in God. The doctor’s pre-diagnosis of it looking “pretty benign” is nice but it doesn’t dictate what I believe. I believe the report of the Lord and that is what I stand on!
I would like to say that in every circumstance in my life, I have handled things this way—I have not. I take no credit for the way I am handling this. I give all the glory to God. In fact, I have begun to think that God has some greater purposes in all of this that have absolutely nothing to do with me. So often when difficult circumstances come into our lives, our first thought is about ME. How it is going to affect ME. How I feel. What am I going to do? What about ME? Even with our children, they can be going through something and somehow we still make it about us!
Our children are like extensions of ourselves, so often we internalize things so deeply. We make their problems our problems, their difficulties our own. But there are times in their lives when we need to just step back and let God do the work. They have their own salvation to work out and we have to be careful that we are not stepping on God’s toes.
In the beginning my husband and I made the decision to not tell our daughter about the reason she was seeing an oral surgeon. We simply said that they needed to take a look at one of her teeth. We didn’t want to needlessly worry her. I felt good about the decision we had made. On Tuesday when she went in to have the procedure done, well, let’s just say she put up a good fight before it was finally able to be done. What could have been a 5 minute procedure took nearly an hour! When it was done and over with, and she was still carrying on about the trauma of what had been done to her, I felt in my spirit that she needed to know. She needed to understand there was a genuine reason for having this procedure done. I then proceeded, on our way home from the procedure, to tell her exactly what was going on. Her response was wonderful. She seemed okay with it. She became more understanding about the need to have it done. I thought, “This is great, she is handling this so well!”
Well the next day things changed. She suddenly came to me crying. She was sobbing and saying, “I don’t want to have cancer.” Immediately regret filled my heart. “I shouldn’t have told her,” I said to myself. But God spoke into my heart that it was the right thing to do and I had to let Him work. Have you ever felt that? That you had to let God do a work even though you wanted to intervene? So often we try to intervene in God’s plans, stop a situation, solve a problem, or create another way when God has His own plan. It is hard to step out of the way. But that is exactly what He was asking me to do. Is there something in your life that God is telling you to step aside? Let Him do the work?
When my daughter couldn’t stop crying, I called up my best friend. Her daughter and mine are best friends. I knew that her daughter truly cares about Caitlin and would be there for her. I explained to my best friend what was going on and asked if she could have her daughter call mine. A few minutes later she did. When my daughter hung up the phone, she had stopped crying. She came to me and told me how Hayley (that’s her best friend) had reminded Caitlin (my daughter) of all the times God had healed her when she was younger (she has been through a lot in her life) and that God wasn’t going to let her have cancer. She then prayed with my daughter. Later that night at church I talked to my best friend about their conversation and she felt that this situation could be used in her daughter’s life as well. She was being used as an encourager but also for her to see evidence of God working.
Here we are, just a few days later, still waiting for final results and I can see the Lord still working. Suddenly a song has become the source of strength for my daughter. This is the first time I have seen her held onto a promise in such a way. There are many songs that really impact me and give me hope. Now God has given her a song. It’s by Tenth Avenue North and it’s called “By Your Side.” I end with the lyrics…may they be an encouragement to you:
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don’t turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I’m not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
Chorus:
And I’ll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and My side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world’s sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
Chorus – 2x
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I’ll never let you go
Monday, March 9, 2009
God Is Faithful
“Is this really the same boy?” The question couldn’t escape my mind. I was sitting quietly by, watching my son move about. He was getting out his Civil Air Patrol blues uniform, rolling the dog hair that seems to be magnetic to those polyester pants, then running downstairs to iron…gasp, what is this?! IRONING his own clothes? He hopped in the shower—my goodness, I can remember when I had to practically force him into the shower! Once he was showered and dressed, he then methodically set about polishing his black shoes. Whatever happened to those days when he didn’t even know where to find his clothes?! Or even a couple of months ago hearing, “Mom, did you iron my uniform yet?”
Is this really the same boy? He asks me if any hair is touching his ears—yes, there are a few hairs. He insists that I cut them. He is taking great pride as he gets dressed and ready to stand before his patrol unit, recite their pledge and receive his first stripe for his first promotion. And I get to be part of this! I get to pin his first stripe on!
I can hardly believe that this is the same boy—perhaps if you knew a little about my background with my son, you would understand my feelings. For many years, Daniel suffered with Tourette Syndrome. If you are unfamiliar with this disorder, it causes uncontrollable facial and vocal tics. These began when he was around 6 or 7. Quite honestly, my husband and I always thought he was just being naughty. At church Christmas musicals he would stand up there and make these crazy faces—at first my husband and I would laugh but pretty soon we felt like crawling under the pew. We would ask him afterwards, “Why were you making those faces?” He would innocently ask, “What faces?” We assumed he was just continuing to be defiant. After all, he was born with a temper it seemed! Put it this way…one of the very first parenting books I read was James Dobson’s, “The Strong-Willed Child.”
By the time Daniel was 9, he had been officially diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome. We finally understood what we were dealing with. Not only did Daniel suffer from this condition but he had an accompanying sleeping disorder. Eventually he was put on medication for this, as he would sometimes go up to 48 hours with no sleep. All of this was topped off with a nice touch of frequent raging. He would fly into these horrific rage attacks that could last for up to 2 hours. I remember times afterwards, lying on his bedroom floor with him, both of us crying.
By the time Daniel was ready to enter middle school, he was tired of being “different.” He didn’t want to be on medication and he didn’t want to deal with his emotions and his tics. It was at this time I began to steer him toward the Lord—I had been praying for him for years—but it was time for his relationship with the Lord to become something of his own. I encouraged him to seek God for healing. He did and by the time he was in the middle of his 6th grade year, he was completely off his medication, he no longer had sleeping problems, his tics disappeared and his emotions greatly calmed down.
Next month that same boy, who both suffered and brought about suffering, turns 15. If anyone had told me years back that Daniel would be the wonderful young man he is, I honestly don’t think I could have believed it.
It’s funny, though, how I look back on those years—when he was experiencing such difficulties I was home schooling him. One of the ways I was able to get through to him educationally was to put together mini units on topics that interested him…from the time he was 8 or 9, he was interested in the military, aircraft and past wars. Now he is serving in an organization that is part of the military (Air Force), an organization that teaches aviation and with that, also encompasses education on wars. Weather permitting; he will be flying in the front seat of a Cessna at the end of this month, having partial control of the plane. Right now his goal is to become a commercial airline pilot—he is well on his way. My point is that when I look back to those difficult times, I see how God used so much of that to make him into the wonderful young man that he is. We have both learned so much. However, the greatest lesson that I believe we have both learned is that God is faithful. God is good. God can be trusted. God has a purpose and a plan through every situation, every circumstance.
Our family needs this reminder, as we recently found out that our 11 year old daughter needs to have a biopsy done. However, maybe you needed this reminder, too…I hope our testimony will remind you of those very truths…
Is this really the same boy? He asks me if any hair is touching his ears—yes, there are a few hairs. He insists that I cut them. He is taking great pride as he gets dressed and ready to stand before his patrol unit, recite their pledge and receive his first stripe for his first promotion. And I get to be part of this! I get to pin his first stripe on!
I can hardly believe that this is the same boy—perhaps if you knew a little about my background with my son, you would understand my feelings. For many years, Daniel suffered with Tourette Syndrome. If you are unfamiliar with this disorder, it causes uncontrollable facial and vocal tics. These began when he was around 6 or 7. Quite honestly, my husband and I always thought he was just being naughty. At church Christmas musicals he would stand up there and make these crazy faces—at first my husband and I would laugh but pretty soon we felt like crawling under the pew. We would ask him afterwards, “Why were you making those faces?” He would innocently ask, “What faces?” We assumed he was just continuing to be defiant. After all, he was born with a temper it seemed! Put it this way…one of the very first parenting books I read was James Dobson’s, “The Strong-Willed Child.”
By the time Daniel was 9, he had been officially diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome. We finally understood what we were dealing with. Not only did Daniel suffer from this condition but he had an accompanying sleeping disorder. Eventually he was put on medication for this, as he would sometimes go up to 48 hours with no sleep. All of this was topped off with a nice touch of frequent raging. He would fly into these horrific rage attacks that could last for up to 2 hours. I remember times afterwards, lying on his bedroom floor with him, both of us crying.
By the time Daniel was ready to enter middle school, he was tired of being “different.” He didn’t want to be on medication and he didn’t want to deal with his emotions and his tics. It was at this time I began to steer him toward the Lord—I had been praying for him for years—but it was time for his relationship with the Lord to become something of his own. I encouraged him to seek God for healing. He did and by the time he was in the middle of his 6th grade year, he was completely off his medication, he no longer had sleeping problems, his tics disappeared and his emotions greatly calmed down.
Next month that same boy, who both suffered and brought about suffering, turns 15. If anyone had told me years back that Daniel would be the wonderful young man he is, I honestly don’t think I could have believed it.
It’s funny, though, how I look back on those years—when he was experiencing such difficulties I was home schooling him. One of the ways I was able to get through to him educationally was to put together mini units on topics that interested him…from the time he was 8 or 9, he was interested in the military, aircraft and past wars. Now he is serving in an organization that is part of the military (Air Force), an organization that teaches aviation and with that, also encompasses education on wars. Weather permitting; he will be flying in the front seat of a Cessna at the end of this month, having partial control of the plane. Right now his goal is to become a commercial airline pilot—he is well on his way. My point is that when I look back to those difficult times, I see how God used so much of that to make him into the wonderful young man that he is. We have both learned so much. However, the greatest lesson that I believe we have both learned is that God is faithful. God is good. God can be trusted. God has a purpose and a plan through every situation, every circumstance.
Our family needs this reminder, as we recently found out that our 11 year old daughter needs to have a biopsy done. However, maybe you needed this reminder, too…I hope our testimony will remind you of those very truths…
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Mothers
I recently shared a quote from Staci Eldredge’s book, “You Are Captivating – Celebrating a Mother’s Heart.” Here is some more encouragement from this same book:
Whether we work full-time outside of the home, full-time within the home, or some creative gymnastic combination of both, so much of our lives as women is lived in secret; hidden from the eyes of the world and the accolades of others. So much of it feels mundane. You don’t get an award for doing your 100,000th load of laundry. My family expects to eat dinner—every night! So much of what we do feels thankless, unappreciated, unseen. But God sees. And He esteems most what is done away from the eyes of others. He loves hidden, secret, small places. He does His best work there—in the home, in the womb, and in the heart.
Every choice you make to love, to serve, to offer, to sacrifice, God sees and is so very pleased. You are joining with Him in the amazing work of bringing forth life every time you say yes because it is the loving thing to do. When you say yes, even when you want to say no; when it would be so much easier to say no. Every single time we choose to put our children first, before our needs and our wants, before our dreams and our desires, before our rights and what we deserve, a little bit of our selfishness dies and a little more holiness takes root in our hearts. When you cry out to God in the midst of weariness and loneliness and sorrow for the strength to love, for the wisdom to discipline well, for the grace to respond with patience, for the help to soothe the ache in your heart, He deepens His presence in your soul and changes you ever more into the woman you desire to be, the woman you are becoming—the woman you were created to be.
Part of who you are, who you are becoming is found in the secret places of being a mother. Being a mother, as I expressed recently, brings both joy and sorrow. Our life as a mother brings new meaning to every aspect of our lives. May it be a celebration, no matter how wonderful or how painful your current journey as a mother may be.
Whether we work full-time outside of the home, full-time within the home, or some creative gymnastic combination of both, so much of our lives as women is lived in secret; hidden from the eyes of the world and the accolades of others. So much of it feels mundane. You don’t get an award for doing your 100,000th load of laundry. My family expects to eat dinner—every night! So much of what we do feels thankless, unappreciated, unseen. But God sees. And He esteems most what is done away from the eyes of others. He loves hidden, secret, small places. He does His best work there—in the home, in the womb, and in the heart.
Every choice you make to love, to serve, to offer, to sacrifice, God sees and is so very pleased. You are joining with Him in the amazing work of bringing forth life every time you say yes because it is the loving thing to do. When you say yes, even when you want to say no; when it would be so much easier to say no. Every single time we choose to put our children first, before our needs and our wants, before our dreams and our desires, before our rights and what we deserve, a little bit of our selfishness dies and a little more holiness takes root in our hearts. When you cry out to God in the midst of weariness and loneliness and sorrow for the strength to love, for the wisdom to discipline well, for the grace to respond with patience, for the help to soothe the ache in your heart, He deepens His presence in your soul and changes you ever more into the woman you desire to be, the woman you are becoming—the woman you were created to be.
Part of who you are, who you are becoming is found in the secret places of being a mother. Being a mother, as I expressed recently, brings both joy and sorrow. Our life as a mother brings new meaning to every aspect of our lives. May it be a celebration, no matter how wonderful or how painful your current journey as a mother may be.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Joys and Sorrows
The joy of being a mother is so very closely linked with the sorrow of being a mother. It is holy ground. ~ Staci Eldredge’s “You Are Captivating – Celebrating a Mother’s Heart”
I think every mom can attest to the fact that being a mother is both joyful and sorrowful. We have moments, days, and seasons that we experience either or both of these emotions. There may be some days, some seasons in which we are especially feeling joyful and other days and seasons in which it seems all we have are sorrow.
The joy of being a mom is found in sometimes those small moments, a baby who finally falls asleep, a child’s grade going up, or the accomplishment of playing an instrument. Other joys are found in more monumental events such as graduating or winning some grand award. Mixed in you may encounter other moments that bring true joy to your heart.
I mentioned recently how I had celebrated my 40th birthday. I have two sons and one daughter. My daughter was the only one really interested in buying me a gift. She had an upcoming babysitting job, so she asked my husband to take her to pick out a gift for me and she would pay him back. The boys…well, if I had not reminded them that morning it was my birthday, it would have come and gone without any acknowledgment. My daughter, on the other hand, wanted to make it special. She picked out a beautiful candle display and even hid it, having me go through a treasure hunt before I was led to her very thoughtful gift and card. That brought me joy.
I used to always bemoan the fact that my boys didn’t seem to really care if it was my birthday. My youngest will make a card for me. However, my 14 year old son, he needed a little help. So instead of expecting him to think of something to do for my birthday and instead of feeling sorry for myself that he isn’t more thoughtful, I handed him a pack of construction paper and some pencils and said, “Make me a card.” He said, “What do I write?” I said, “Write what’s in your heart.” I was expecting his card to say “Happy Birthday Mom, Love Daniel.” Instead, this is what it said: “I love you and thank you for being there for me. Your support has helped me to get through my life. Without your help I would be nowhere. Life has been fun because of you mom.” Wow! That really hit me to the core of my heart. I had no idea those feelings were inside him. Truly, this brought me great joy (and some tears).
I wish that motherhood was always filled with these moments. Unfortunately, though, it is also filled with very sorrowful moments. I think probably the greatest sorrow a mom can experience is when their child does something very wrong, when they stray from the Lord, when they make decisions that are very hurtful or tragic. Some sorrows are unexpected, an illness of a child. But other sorrows are brought on by that child and it cuts us to the very core.
Recently my husband and I have been having “issues” with our youngest. They have caused me sorrow. They have caused me to feel hurt inside. Yes, being a mom can truly be sorrowful. Think of the times that your child has brought you to tears. Think of the times that your child has broken your heart. Think of the times your child has disappointed you. Think of the times your child has gone the wrong way. These are all painful mom moments. My blog, “Mom Moments” is just about that…moments we experience as moms. I would like to say that everything we will ever experience will be great but it’s not true. Being a mom is hard and sometimes we wonder where the joy in it really is.
This blog was based upon something I read in Staci Eldgredge’s book, “You Are Captivating – Celebrating a Mother’s Heart.” I quoted it above. However, I cannot fail to address the second part of what I quoted, where she says “It is holy ground.” That caught me a bit off guard. Being a mom is joyful and sorrowful, yes, but how in the world is it holy ground?
I had to really think about that. The ground we walk as a mother really is holy. We experience so many divine moments, that it can’t be anything other than holy ground. When we stand on holy ground, which is before God, we stand before Him not only with the good but with the bad. We are who we are. Being a mother is what it is. Our children are what they are. Every moment in life that we experience comes back to holiness because it’s all about Him. If we forget God in the midst of those joys and sorrows, we have forgotten the divine purpose and glory of being a mom.
Being a mom is not just something we do; it truly is who we are. We are so often defined by the mother that we are. We are defined by the way we respond to situations in our children’s lives. We are defined by the way we respond to those joys and sorrows.
You may be on the mountaintop right now as a mom. Everything is good. You got your little ducks in a row, all is well. It could be easy to look down upon others, to cluck your tongue and think, “What has she done wrong?” Believe me…we will all experience painful moments. No one is exempt from the sorrows of being a mom. If you are in a joyful place, yes, be thankful but at the same time, remember those moms who are not.
If you are in a time of sorrow—if being a mom is simply breaking your heart, look up! Look up to the very One who grieves right along with you. He will not leave you, He will not forsake you. He loves that child more than you do. He wants better for that child. He sees the bigger picture while all we see are the fragments of a broken life or situation. Your child needs to be entrusted into the hands of the very One who created him/her. Know that as a mom, I am praying for each one of you and your children—that they would experience the awesome glory of walking in the path that God has laid out before them. If they are not, that they would return, that they would finally make that commitment to live their lives solely to the Lord Jesus Christ.
I think every mom can attest to the fact that being a mother is both joyful and sorrowful. We have moments, days, and seasons that we experience either or both of these emotions. There may be some days, some seasons in which we are especially feeling joyful and other days and seasons in which it seems all we have are sorrow.
The joy of being a mom is found in sometimes those small moments, a baby who finally falls asleep, a child’s grade going up, or the accomplishment of playing an instrument. Other joys are found in more monumental events such as graduating or winning some grand award. Mixed in you may encounter other moments that bring true joy to your heart.
I mentioned recently how I had celebrated my 40th birthday. I have two sons and one daughter. My daughter was the only one really interested in buying me a gift. She had an upcoming babysitting job, so she asked my husband to take her to pick out a gift for me and she would pay him back. The boys…well, if I had not reminded them that morning it was my birthday, it would have come and gone without any acknowledgment. My daughter, on the other hand, wanted to make it special. She picked out a beautiful candle display and even hid it, having me go through a treasure hunt before I was led to her very thoughtful gift and card. That brought me joy.
I used to always bemoan the fact that my boys didn’t seem to really care if it was my birthday. My youngest will make a card for me. However, my 14 year old son, he needed a little help. So instead of expecting him to think of something to do for my birthday and instead of feeling sorry for myself that he isn’t more thoughtful, I handed him a pack of construction paper and some pencils and said, “Make me a card.” He said, “What do I write?” I said, “Write what’s in your heart.” I was expecting his card to say “Happy Birthday Mom, Love Daniel.” Instead, this is what it said: “I love you and thank you for being there for me. Your support has helped me to get through my life. Without your help I would be nowhere. Life has been fun because of you mom.” Wow! That really hit me to the core of my heart. I had no idea those feelings were inside him. Truly, this brought me great joy (and some tears).
I wish that motherhood was always filled with these moments. Unfortunately, though, it is also filled with very sorrowful moments. I think probably the greatest sorrow a mom can experience is when their child does something very wrong, when they stray from the Lord, when they make decisions that are very hurtful or tragic. Some sorrows are unexpected, an illness of a child. But other sorrows are brought on by that child and it cuts us to the very core.
Recently my husband and I have been having “issues” with our youngest. They have caused me sorrow. They have caused me to feel hurt inside. Yes, being a mom can truly be sorrowful. Think of the times that your child has brought you to tears. Think of the times that your child has broken your heart. Think of the times your child has disappointed you. Think of the times your child has gone the wrong way. These are all painful mom moments. My blog, “Mom Moments” is just about that…moments we experience as moms. I would like to say that everything we will ever experience will be great but it’s not true. Being a mom is hard and sometimes we wonder where the joy in it really is.
This blog was based upon something I read in Staci Eldgredge’s book, “You Are Captivating – Celebrating a Mother’s Heart.” I quoted it above. However, I cannot fail to address the second part of what I quoted, where she says “It is holy ground.” That caught me a bit off guard. Being a mom is joyful and sorrowful, yes, but how in the world is it holy ground?
I had to really think about that. The ground we walk as a mother really is holy. We experience so many divine moments, that it can’t be anything other than holy ground. When we stand on holy ground, which is before God, we stand before Him not only with the good but with the bad. We are who we are. Being a mother is what it is. Our children are what they are. Every moment in life that we experience comes back to holiness because it’s all about Him. If we forget God in the midst of those joys and sorrows, we have forgotten the divine purpose and glory of being a mom.
Being a mom is not just something we do; it truly is who we are. We are so often defined by the mother that we are. We are defined by the way we respond to situations in our children’s lives. We are defined by the way we respond to those joys and sorrows.
You may be on the mountaintop right now as a mom. Everything is good. You got your little ducks in a row, all is well. It could be easy to look down upon others, to cluck your tongue and think, “What has she done wrong?” Believe me…we will all experience painful moments. No one is exempt from the sorrows of being a mom. If you are in a joyful place, yes, be thankful but at the same time, remember those moms who are not.
If you are in a time of sorrow—if being a mom is simply breaking your heart, look up! Look up to the very One who grieves right along with you. He will not leave you, He will not forsake you. He loves that child more than you do. He wants better for that child. He sees the bigger picture while all we see are the fragments of a broken life or situation. Your child needs to be entrusted into the hands of the very One who created him/her. Know that as a mom, I am praying for each one of you and your children—that they would experience the awesome glory of walking in the path that God has laid out before them. If they are not, that they would return, that they would finally make that commitment to live their lives solely to the Lord Jesus Christ.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Fabulous Forties!
My February Mom Moments blog was supposed to be about several things, one of them being a very special birthday that I was celebrating. Instead, I was led to share the testimony about my son and the high school stabbing and how God answers our prayers.
I didn't want to neglect, however, to mention my birthday. Don't get me wrong--I am not trying to draw attention to myself or guilt you into buying me a present or something. Instead, I didn't want to miss the opportunity to talk about how fabulous the 40's are! Granted, I am pretty new to all of this but things have started off well. First of all, I didn't get depressed...I clearly remember getting very down when I turned 30. There was something about the whole idea of entering a new decade that seemed to get to me. The 20's was such a carefree time. The 30's was a time of really learning what it means to be an adult--to pay bills, raise children, and the like. None of that has changed now that I'm in my 40's but you know what? I feel wiser. I feel like I am finally starting to really understand what life is about--the things that truly matter. This is a huge milestone in my eyes. I see things so differently. To think about the fact that I could potentially have lived already half my life now is a wake up call. I see things with new eyes and with new perspective.
I also feel like the best years are ahead. I don’t really know why. There is no specific reason for me to feel this way. I guess that's just the God of hope working inside me! I don’t FEEL 40 either. I don’t know how 40 is supposed to feel but all I know is that I feel pretty good. Sure, I need to lose a few pounds but my husband still tells me I look good, so I am content (smile).
I do, however, think that part of the reason for the excitement is that I am growing in Christ. I think back to the many years I spent without Him, without a relationship with Him and how differently my life could be right now. In all honesty, my husband and I would have probably been divorced. Our youngest would never have been born. Our children would not be raised in a church. I would have still been angry and bitter about issues from my childhood. I would probably not have a relationship of any kind with my parents. I would be living the party life. I would be living a life of destruction, really. To know that as I grow older, I will be growing IN Christ gives me such an excitement. It gives me a hopeful outlook for the future.
So as I venture into this next decade, I refuse to be a woman that does not disclose her age. I am quite proud to have made it this far. I trust in the plans that the Lord has for me and for my family. This is truly a month of celebration for me! I pray that each of us can feel this way about our lives…that we so love what God has done and has yet to do, that we will treasure every moment and never take our time on this earth for granted.
I didn't want to neglect, however, to mention my birthday. Don't get me wrong--I am not trying to draw attention to myself or guilt you into buying me a present or something. Instead, I didn't want to miss the opportunity to talk about how fabulous the 40's are! Granted, I am pretty new to all of this but things have started off well. First of all, I didn't get depressed...I clearly remember getting very down when I turned 30. There was something about the whole idea of entering a new decade that seemed to get to me. The 20's was such a carefree time. The 30's was a time of really learning what it means to be an adult--to pay bills, raise children, and the like. None of that has changed now that I'm in my 40's but you know what? I feel wiser. I feel like I am finally starting to really understand what life is about--the things that truly matter. This is a huge milestone in my eyes. I see things so differently. To think about the fact that I could potentially have lived already half my life now is a wake up call. I see things with new eyes and with new perspective.
I also feel like the best years are ahead. I don’t really know why. There is no specific reason for me to feel this way. I guess that's just the God of hope working inside me! I don’t FEEL 40 either. I don’t know how 40 is supposed to feel but all I know is that I feel pretty good. Sure, I need to lose a few pounds but my husband still tells me I look good, so I am content (smile).
I do, however, think that part of the reason for the excitement is that I am growing in Christ. I think back to the many years I spent without Him, without a relationship with Him and how differently my life could be right now. In all honesty, my husband and I would have probably been divorced. Our youngest would never have been born. Our children would not be raised in a church. I would have still been angry and bitter about issues from my childhood. I would probably not have a relationship of any kind with my parents. I would be living the party life. I would be living a life of destruction, really. To know that as I grow older, I will be growing IN Christ gives me such an excitement. It gives me a hopeful outlook for the future.
So as I venture into this next decade, I refuse to be a woman that does not disclose her age. I am quite proud to have made it this far. I trust in the plans that the Lord has for me and for my family. This is truly a month of celebration for me! I pray that each of us can feel this way about our lives…that we so love what God has done and has yet to do, that we will treasure every moment and never take our time on this earth for granted.
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